The Transition Artist

If you’ve read any of my past posts then you know how much attention I attract simply by having lighter skin than anyone else. I’ve gotten used to being pointed at and having people exclaim “mzungu, mzungu!” when they see me, but I haven’t gotten used to the attention it brings. I usually get one of two reactions: 1. People point and stare and wait for my reaction (I usually just smile and wave if it’s children or politely smile and then look away when it’s adults – because realistically they know better than to point and stare, and they’d feel weird if I did it to them), and then they approach if it’s positive, or 2. They whisper and stare and then quickly look away (or run away and hide in some of the kids’ cases). It’s strange, but comes with the territory I guess.

Today all of that attention intensified. I got to go to my first full African wedding and I was so excited about it. I borrowed a dress that belongs to one of the daughters of my host family, and it was so beautiful. The dress was blue with a traditional African pattern on it, and had little cap sleeves and a loose bow across the front. It hit below my calves and had a floaty skirt like a sundress. It also wasn’t too tight so I could maintain the amount of eating my host mom has been encouraging (she’s trying to fatten me up, I kid you not. She said so herself). My sisters (Linette and Serphine – the girls I live with) told me I looked “smart” (apparently the substitute for nice) and approved me as a real Kenyan.

I had finished getting dressed just as the rest of the guests started arriving at the house. The house has been full of people since last night, when the bridge and groom and all the people cooking for today’s lunch came over. The cooks stayed up all night making chipati (basically a thinker version of a tortilla), chicken, beef stew, oogali (sort of like a grainy dough bread), and some veggie mix. So everyone came over before the wedding to eat this awesome meal before heading to the church. I didn’t realize so many people would be filling the little house, though, so I walked out into a literal mob of people serving themselves in the living room and was met with a lot of staring. I ended up going through this overwhelmingly long line of people just shaking hands and trying to remember at least a few names, and everyone immediately started asking who I was and where I was from.

I was quite literally the only white (light brown, really) person at the wedding. My host mom planned the whole thing, though, so if my skin color didn’t make me stand out enough, she went ahead and put me in the wedding party, so that did. We were getting ready to leave for the church, loading into cars, when I walked out and was ushered towards the bride’s car. I was sure this was a mistake, so I lingered outside the car waiting for instructions. Suddenly Monica (host mom) leans out the window and says, “My daughter! Get in!” I looked around like who me..? for probably a full minute before someone opened the door and pulled me in.

So here I am, right behind this stunningly beautiful bride, driving out of Kibera like a celebrity and it was like someone had alerted the whole community. The streets were lined with people wanting to peek in and see the bride. They’d ooh and ahh over her, and then see me in the back and get even more excited because “hey look there’s a mzungu!!!” I thought this was a little amusing until it intensified even more when we pull up to the church and I get out and Monica hands me a candle and says, “You’ll process in with us. You’re presenting the unity candle.”

Without much further instruction, next thing you know I’m slowly marching down the aisle of the church right in front of the flower girls holding this candle. You’d have thought I was holding the baby Jesus the way cameras came out and people started snapping pictures and whispering. Everyone was quite amused because not only was I the only white person in the church, making me quite the novelty item, but I was also in the wedding party performing this special traditional march (that I literally picked up by watching the little boys carrying the pillows ahead of me). I wasn’t sure if I should smile or try and look casual, like I’m tossed into weddings of people I only just met the night before all the time. I think in the end my face just shifted from looking embarrassed, politely amused, and totally mortified on a steady rotation. A total kodak moment.

Once the bride walked down the aisle everyone pretty much forgot about me (which was quite relieving) until the reception. The service was beautiful, but definitely longer than any I’ve been to before, with a lot less English and a lot more Swahili. The whole thing took about 3 hours, and I think everyone including the bride and groom was a little tired by the end.

The reception was awesome with lots of dancing and eating, but my celebrity status grew enormously. I facetimed with my parents to talk to my mom for Mother’s Day and tried to move off to the side, but within minutes was surrounded by easily about 20 children, all of whom wanted to say hello my mother. I was sitting in the grass and they all crowded in around me and said, “that’s your mom?! Oh she’s beeeeautiful.” My mom was flattered, of course. Then, at one point this tiny little boy comes over to me and just crawls right into my lap. I have no idea where he came from or where his parents were but he just hopped right in there and made himself at home, nestling in against my chest. It was actually really adorable, but also weird because I had no idea who this kid was or why he liked me so much (besides that I’m a mzungu..). I finally had to tell all the kids to go play and promised to join them later, and a security guard (afraid for my safety) came over and made them all leave. The whole rest of the evening the same thing kept happening, though. The kinds just flocked to me and flanked me on all sides like a little army. I swear they acted like I was their best friend or favorite teacher the way they all huddled around me. I would say this was kind of a blessing, though, strange as it was, because I really love kids and it totally eradicated any feelings of being an outsider who didn’t know anyone at the wedding.

I ended up having a really good time, and rode back home afterwards in a car with the bride and groom (which I thought never happened). The newly weds spent the night here again, but before they went to bed the groom made it a point of thanking me profusely for “Blessing his wedding.” I was really confused because I honestly thought I had sort of wedding crashed, but he kept saying, “The guests found you so interesting! So many people asked me who you were and I told them you were our good friend from America! I couldn’t believe this was our wedding! It was international!” I was floored. I literally busted out laughing because I thought he was kidding. But no, he was serious.

After all that, I felt like some sort of visiting celebrity for the day. It made me really grateful that I’m not actually a celebrity... At the same time as it was sort of awesome because I made so many friends. I absolutely can’t complain about how welcoming and kind everyone was, particularly the wedding party, and I have only glowing reports of the African wedding experience. What I gathered from today is the feeling of true inclusion and sincerity. Everyone includes everyone, all are welcome, and community couldn’t be stronger here. It truly is inspiring. I love Africa.