2014 was, to date, the best year of my entire life. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve said that as the end of that year approached and the new year began. This past year I traveled to 8 different countries, countless cities within those countries and my own, and learned more about other cultures and myself than I could ever have imagined.
On my nightstand sits the leather-bound journal that contains my New Years Resolutions from 2014, and all the different entries that document my struggles, my fears, my weaknesses, and my
greatest glories from the past year. It’s only fitting that the journal contains all of these things, because in terms of the sense of the word “resolution,” I used the journal as a landing place for my goals, as well as a space to sort out the ever-moving parts of my thoughts. I resolved to reach for something bigger than what I had done in the past, and came back to the pages of that journal in search of resolve for anything that plagued me.
My resolutions generally consist of aspirations and dreams I want to fulfill rather than a list of rules I want to follow. Last year, I resolved to go to Africa “for at least a month” to “make friends, share smiles and laughter and maybe tears, build relationships, and cultivate love.” I resolved to run a marathon. I resolved to study abroad. I resolved to learn another language, to take a calligraphy or drawing class, and to fly a plane (I dream big). Looking back, I can easily say that as I head into this new year, I am not the same person that I was when I sat down to write these resolutions, some of which I accomplished, some of which I didn’t. What matters, though, is that since I made those resolutions, I have been more deeply challenged than I ever envisioned. I have been forced to face obstacles and experiences that made me more self-aware, understanding, and, sometimes, really uncomfortable, and I set sail on the journey of a lifetime.
In 2014, I lived like I never have before, but I don’t believe that ended at midnight on December 31st. In the months to come, I have every intention of keeping up my latest streak, but maybe with a little added fervor.
There’s a lot of debate as to whether resolutions are actually valuable or necessary, or if they’re just a bunch of random ideas people have about how to make themselves “better,” as though the change of the year number makes them magically different. I can completely understand why deciding, “From this day forward, I will no longer tell lies,” or “In 2015 I will stop eating sugar” may sound a tiny bit absurd to people who don’t equate a calendar shift to a brand new, freshly will-powered person, but setting goals and writing them down can also be wildly valuable. In my mind, a new year is a marker of a new start. There’s absolutely nothing that changed about me between the minute before midnight and the minute after that made this year different, but the idea that I have a new 12-month period to accomplish something I’ve always wanted to do signifies a fresh start.
This year, as with the last, I set the bar so high I have to laugh a little when I read off my resolutions. They’re bold, they’re daring, and there are maybe a few I’m not positive I’ll be able to accomplish, but the challenge feels anything but daunting. I’ve laid out before myself things like: graduating college in December (a semester early), running a marathon (since the circumstances didn’t permit it the last time around), getting a “big girl job” (i.e. potentially involving a desk as opposed to tables that I wait on), reading a book a month, writing a blog post a week, learning Spanish, making more time for myself, and cultivating gratefulness and happiness.
I like to think all of these are perfectly attainable, but the point is not that I know I’ll be able to accomplish them all. The point is that I’m challenging myself to reach above and beyond what I’ve been doing. I want to make this year bigger and greater than all of the other ones, even as I finish saying, “2014 was the best year yet.” I don’t anticipate any of the things I’m setting out to do to be easy. I don’t expect that they’ll be the only goals I will work towards or achieve the entire year, nor do I think I’m any more capable of doing them now than I was last year. What matters is that I have physical, written evidence of something that I’m working towards. When a day or a week feels aimless and I start to lose purpose, I have this list to go back to, to remind me that I can do better; that there is always something to work towards.
I’m a full supporter of living in the moment. In fact, I have a tattoo on my arm that reminds me to do just that, but setting goals should never impede that process. I encourage you this year to set at least one goal for yourself, but not necessarily to plan each day for the next 365 days and strictly regulate how life is lived within that time frame. Too many rules and plans can feel suffocating and exhausting, trapping us in the future and the past all at once, and leaving us too tired or daunted to relish the moment we’re in. Goals or resolutions are merely guides, gently reminding us that we are capable of something much greater than average. It is my greatest hope that this year, instead of hating yourself for not losing every inch of fat on your body, you set goals that cause to you embark on a great journey that reminds you every day how much you’re capable of.
The Transition Artist 