Something’s happened over the past decade that has made us a culture of flakes. I’ve noticed lately that people have gotten incredibly picky when it comes to, well, pretty much everything. Sometimes it feels like our culture is high maintenance, hard to please, and, honestly, a little bit selfish. And I’m just as guilty of it as the next person. One of the weirdest things I’ve been thinking about lately is the fear I feel like my generation has to commit. People don’t typically want to make firm statements or firm plans unless whatever they’re agreeing is, beyond a doubt, 100% beneficial to them.
Hardly anyone really wants to “date” anymore because exclusivity is terrifying. No one really wants to commit to making solid plans more than a day or two, maybe hours, in advance. Details are a little sketchier, and, for some reason, it seems like people are afraid to give straight answers. Everyone wants to know, what’s in it for me? I’m not saying that this applies to everyone, but it seems like some kind of plague is currently sweeping around colleges and making people unsure.
Here’s why I think it’s happening:
1. We’re terrified of being tied down and getting stuck in a rut. We think declaring a minor, officially being in a relationship, or telling someone we’re free to meet up on a Friday night is almost on par with choosing a permanent career path, agreeing to marriage, or putting on handcuffs.
2. We don’t want to miss out on anything. We’re so terrified that after making a firm decision to do something or be somewhere, we’ll be held accountable, but, at any given time, something better might come along.
3. We don’t want to feel obligated. People love to be included and know what’s going on, but asking to be able to depend on them is sometimes a different story. No one wants to feel guilty if they decide later that they don’t want to be involved anymore or don’t feel like going somewhere.
The result: Everyone looks flaky and people aren’t feeling fulfilled.
It’s almost like my generation needs to go to couples therapy to mend more than just broken relationships, but to figure out how to start making healthy ones to begin with. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with making a solid choice. So what are we afraid of? Failure and unhappiness. In all honesty, I see in myself and young adults around me a sensitivity that is unparalleled by elders. We don’t want to look bad. The primary cure for this, though, is working on not caring so much about the future and enjoying the place we’re in right now. If we become less concerned with what could be or could’ve been, we’ll be much more satisfied with the decisions that we make and feel more confident in making them.
However, trying to “feel more confident” is easier said than done. In order to make this happen I think companies need to target advertising so that people feel more affirmed in what they’re doing, so that it’s not like we might be missing out on something else, but know that we’ve made the right decision. Programs, specifically in earning a degree, should allow students to learn about what they love and take classes for the sake of learning instead of grades, helping us not to feel isolated or stuck in a path we’ve chosen. And above all: we need to start standing firmly for what we believe in, what interests us, and how we feel, forcing ourselves to look deeper at our passions, so that we’re not following dead end paths and feel confident in decisions that we make.
The Transition Artist 